A Step Away From Fear

Up at 6:30 AM, before the sun. It’s quiet and Drew is still sleeping. It’s time to prepare so I drowsily head for the shower. The overpacking all of the things I might need for a -21°c trip to Lake Louise begins. Lunch, socks, every pair of pants we have get piled into the hall.

Not two weeks earlier after loads of self work the idea came upon me that if other people were using social media to construct their ideal lives so could I. With a rudimentary understanding of HOW I set about emailing Lake Louise Ski Resort. Previously even this would not have been remotely close to something I believed was possible for me. The idea could have remained in my head as I mulled over all of the ways I could make my plan perfect, before trying. Or develop my one idea of how the experience needed to unfold to be defined as success. This time though, I took a step understanding why and put my intentions out into the world. Whether the contacted me or not, Success!

We’re on the wind blown road heading through Banff and Drew has a death grip on the wheel. Mountains flow by, the car has always been a place of refuge for me. He thinks about pulling over and I smile at what seems like the worlds many little tests to see if I’m serious about what I’ve set out to do. So many thoughts had come up that wanted to stop me from trying. How can I afford this, what if I can’t find transportation, what if I act strangely, what if I can’t provide what I offered, what if they think I’m a fraud, what if we’re late and on and on. Then there were the fears and uncertainties brought up by my boyfriend. What is it we’re doing, it sounds stressful, if it’s too cold I don’t want to go…

We arrive, passing rows of cars in a snow filled parking lot. Stepping out into the freezing sunny day the cars around us are playing their pump up music and I’m immediately full of excitement. It’s been too long since I’ve done this, woken up earlier than I’d like, taken a drive out to the mountains with friends and put on all of our layers for a day with the intention of fun.

To my surprise someone answered my email! Even though my Instagram following was small they were willing to take me on a guided snowshoe tour.

We head into the lodge and I meet up with the men I’ve been emailing with. They are welcoming and kind. I hear myself trying and feeling somewhat uncertain, but it doesn’t overtake me as it was likely to in the past.We chat a bit and I’m reminded of how much I’ve enjoyed the ski/snowboarding community growing up. My experiences have given me the sense that on the mountain people are in the moment. For me it’s been laughing with the chair lift operator from Australia. Laughing at ourselves as we reach the top of the chairlift and grasp on to each other collapsing in a pile as we scramble out of the way of the next group of people. Listening to music as our group easily carves it’s way down the mountain on a warm powder day with no need for a coat, and a million more moments.

Our guide leads us with a visible ease of being  we head up the mountain to take our first snowshoe steps.

Learn more about Lake Louise Ski Resort snowshoeing and see photos at

https://www.instagram.com/tearastarr/

2 thoughts on “A Step Away From Fear

  1. Sounds like so much fun and very well written..it could have been page 1 of a very gripping novel cause I wanted to keep reading, I’ll read your next blog to make up for it lol

    Liked by 1 person

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